Prenuptials

Prenuptials

Let's pre-suppose your household income is under $250,000 a year.
or 5 million and you don't have the resources or means to employ maids or servants.
And slavery as we know it has been all but eliminated...
This serves as a tip and helpful hint or guideline should you be thinking about marriage and family-having children and pets. It might be a good idea to go over this a time or two before you make your wedding vows before God and these witnesses, saying…"I do" because maybe, just maybe you don't.

Who's the responsible party for taking out the trash and changing paper towel and toilet paper when needed? Restocking the “important” paper supplies? This can also be drawn up for college roommates {slightly modified} or even business partners. The important issue is a contractual understanding in place before it goes to court, the authorities are called in or before it becomes an episode on reality TV’s “Intervention.”

As one example, this can become an irritant if you think you solely have been knighted by the Queen of England to do this for the entire duration of marital relationship including but not limited to the birth of said children until such time they leave the nest, never being asked or told prior to the all important, “I DO.” It is strangely assumed that someone is the official changer of the empty toilet paper and paper towel cardboard cylinder and then titled unofficially, “replacer” with the new roll. This may include going to the grocery store or “super” market and purchasing said product. Make sure you have the “small print” looked over by an attorney so there are no surprises 5 years into said relationship. Formal "title" indecision is the key to flexibility here.

TAKING OUT THE TRASH…
denial about a full trash receptacle…
{READ sloooooooooowly}

{“temporary blindness” or “temporary amnesia” see *medical clause below)
Why trash needs to be taken out…
where it needs to be taken to…
what a full garbage can is.
All this can
mean and apparently does mean
something else altogether different to another person or persons in the same household. It's like once a month or so you must have a meeting, a mandatory meeting regarding house and home operations with full blown questionnaire. It might be a good idea for attendees or home/house operations manager to bring the latest polls and stats to the meeting. For sure the basic suggested questionnaire would go like this...

Do you speak English?

Do you “sign” as in sign language?

Does the trash can look full to you?

What is the legal age for this chore/task?
At what age are you too young for this chore?

At what age are you too old for this task?

Are you mentally capable of completing this task?
If not, please explain?

What is your definition of a full and overflowing trash receptacle?
Please explain.

At what point do you feel it necessary to take the trash out?

What does the question, “It looks full to me, does it look full to you?” mean to you?

Travel with me if you will. Let’s say it smells
like the trash receptacle could be full, possibly a rotting
Thanksgiving Turkey carcass in there somewhere,
and someone says, “I am, I’m smelling a rotting carcass.”
Now if it smells like a rotting carcass….does that qualify as “IT’S TIME” to take the trash out? Why?

Do table food scraps go in with your basic kitchen trash?
Why?
Why not?

Does “taking out the trash” include “all” the waste baskets within the household or is it strictly limited to just one trash receptacle in the kitchen?

Take for instance, is a waste basket in the laundry, bedroom, office and powder room considered “actual waste” or “trash” or is that make believe, fantasy trash that does not need to be taken out? Do you think, “if I blink my eyes like the old TV show Bewitched or I dream of Genie,” the trash will disappear and reappear in the garbage receptacle for the city to pick up. Please explain?

Does the thought of breaking a sweat taking out the trash make you queasy?

What are the criteria for “STANK” to be official for you in regard to the interior of a trash receptacle? What degree of bacterium? Please explain?

Phase two.
Whose job is it to put the proper size plastic trash bag liner in the trash receptacle when trash has been taken out?

Is the proper "size" plastic trash liner necessary? Please explain.

Do you think it odd to put too small of a liner in the trash receptacle (something like underwear with worn out elastic that keeps falling down around your ankles)? If not, please explain.

If the former trash liner sprung a leak, whose job is it to wipe out the leakage from the bottom of the trash receptacle?

Is it necessary to wipe out the leakage i.e. milk, pop, beer?
If so, please explain why?

Do you leave the trash by the front/back door for graveyard shift?

Do you take the household trash and refuse from the house or apartment dwelling to the garbage dumpster or trash receptacle for the city to pick up or do you suffer with what is commonly referred to as the "leave it by the door, gate or in the garage or on the driveway…
the almost but not quite all the way to the garbage receptacle picked up by the city" syndrome. Please explain.

Do you think small children should take the trash out while you watch cartoons/Oprah/Soap Oprah’s/Porn?

Do you think small children under 65 lbs can heave a bulging 33 lb bag o’ trash into a 5 foot high apartment dumpster by themselves?

If they miss and the bag o’ trash spills all over on the ground outside and around the dumpster should they leave it for big stray dogs and outdoor cats to put in the dumpster or the apartment management to clean up? Please explain.

Do you believe apartment management should have a "garbage monitor” on duty to help small children get up an apartment management ladder to put a 33 gallon bulging bag or multiple bags o' trash in the apartment or business dumpster? Please explain.

If party B drops the bag o waste and party d (the dog) tears into the trash bags, now whose problem is it?

1. Mom
2. Dad
3. The neighbor, just don’t bother to tell him and figure he’ll get a clue sooner or later?
4. Child #1,
4 a, child 2
4 b, Step child 3
4 c, Red headed step child 4
5. Grandma 76 yrs or older.
6. The Dog?
7. The system?
8. ex-wife/ex-husband
9. Your AA sponsor

Be sure you have the contract/questionnaire notarized, signed, dated and updated on an as needed basis.

*Medical disclaimer…
It’s a good idea to have a full medical disclosure prior to marriage.
Why? You ask. Good question. Some parties may have a medical note from doctor and or union representative (most cases just a helpful letter from the mother-in-law will do nicely) that disqualifies them from said tasks for a laundry list of medical reasons and in fairness to all parties involved it seems only right, full discloser. Example: temporary blindness, amnesia, back problems, knee problems and inability to lift any weight over 5 lbs except bundles of $100 bills and cases of either Shlitz or Jack Daniels. It could be just something as simple as, “I don’t think I should ‘have to’ or ‘that work is beneath me, I’ll let you do that’.”

Toilet paper addendum: Last but not least…make a concerted effort to formally designate an easy to get to storage spot for toilet paper so that if some one does forget their contractual agreement, search dogs don’t need to be called in for finding toilet paper for visitors to your home and or business.

Please note:
This does not include the “Do YOU RECYCLE”
and or “Do you COMPOST”, and “do do you poop scoop?.”
For recycling tips go to
Sally’s Blog at My Church
or Good Samaritan 11 at My Space.

PMS

Being a woman-it's fun.
A life filled with adventure.

All the stages in life.

One that stands out to me is PMS.
Shopping at the grocery store...
or even Kame Apart...
you got all your feminine products-
Kotex, Always (is that the truth or what?).
All the sizes that range from
cutsie Barbie to the
just home from childbirth…the
infamous and ever comfortable
underbelly of a BOEING 747 size
with wings.

Come fly with me. Thanks!!!
Thanks a lot!!!

ABORTION & 400 B.C. Hippocrates, the Father of Medicine

The actual is the Hypocratic Oath, Hippocratic Oath, or even Hypocritic Oath?
400 B.C. Hippocrates, the Father of Medicine


I SWEAR by Apollo the physician, and Aesculapius, and Health, and All-heal, and all the gods and goddesses, that, according to my ability and judgment, I will keep this Oath and this stipulation to reckon him who taught me this Art equally dear to me as my parents, to share my substance with him, and relieve his necessities if required; to look upon his offspring in the same footing as my own brothers, and to teach them this art, if they shall wish to learn it, without fee or stipulation; and that by precept, lecture, and every other mode of instruction,
I will impart a knowledge of the Art to my own sons, and those of my teachers, and to disciples bound by a stipulation and oath according to the law of medicine, but to none others.
I will follow that system of regimen which, according to my ability and judgment, I consider for the benefit of my patients, and abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous.
I will give no deadly medicine to any one if asked, nor suggest any such counsel; and in like manner I will not give to a woman a pessary to produce abortion.
With purity and with holiness I will pass my life and practice my Art. I will not cut persons laboring under the stone, but will leave this to be done by men who are practitioners of this work.
Into whatever houses I enter, I will go into them for the benefit of the sick, and will abstain from every voluntary act of mischief and corruption; and, further from the seduction of females or males, of freemen and slaves.
Whatever, in connection with my professional practice or not, in connection with it, I see or hear, in the life of men, which ought not to be spoken of abroad, I will not divulge, as reckoning that all such should be kept secret.
While I continue to keep this Oath unviolated, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and the practice of the art, respected by all men, in all times!
But should I trespass and violate this Oath, may the reverse be my lot!

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Does the average American or
human being know the Hippocratic Oath?
What it says???

What’s the hypocritical oath?
An oath to be a hypocrite?
What is that? Now that’s
something to boast of,
an oath in hypocrisy.
Sup wit dat?

How did Roe vs. Wade ever
get around this...just
think this was written 400 BC.
That is simply amazing!!!